As of 11:59PM, PST, on Sunday April 7th, we have closed the polls. Ladies and Gentlemen (I assume some of you qualify), I give you the winning title of the new CFord EP, soon to grace digital shelves the world over:
HEROES AND HEATHENS
First off, honorable mentions to two other candidates that made this race fun to watch - and it was that, indeed. We had an early lead by the spirited if somewhat unlikely candidate, "The Jay Ingram Commemorative Collection (Gold Edition)," whose dedicated fanbase was likely ringled by an evil mastermind - the identity of whom this author can only speculate upon (my money's on this guy). I think it's fair to say that when it's time to compile all of my songs featuring British-Canadian expats, this title will be at the top of my list.
Even more honorable is the mention that goes to the runner-up. In the grand tradition of runners-up throughout history, this entrant had the running shoes it needed to take the race in the final sprint, but forgot to wear its lucky socks. Falling short by a few crucial votes, "Tales of My Personality" was the front-runner for the better part of this contest. In honor of this title's performance in my inaugural EP-naming contest, I've spontaneously decided to pen a rock-opera* about a schizophrenic cat named Jerry Mittens, who climbs out of obscurity to make it to the finale showdown episode of "American Idol." The catch? He's facing off against his alternate personality, Felicity Jones!
Which brings us, of course, to the winner. "Heroes and Heathens" was actually a title crafted by one of my favorite people ever.
This is the part about me being a cheat
I TRICKED YOU! I TRICKED YOU I TRICKED YOU I TRICKED YOU!
Ahhh - sweet, sweet irony. Did you enjoy your dessert tonight? Could you taste the crow mixed in with the humbleberries? As chance would have it, I threw in the title "Heroes and Heathens" (a reference to a line in a song of mine - NoOne Ever Wants To Listen - that has yet to make it onto an album) as a clever decoy amongst the real McCoys. That's right, world.
It turns out that I am better at naming albums than you. I even voted for "Love Song of the Wookie" as my favorite. IT DIDN'T MATTER. I still won.
In all seriousness
Thanks heaps and heaps to everyone who submitted and voted. It was a great ride! Due to the unusual circumstances of this outcome, I'm going to be getting the runners-up some copies of a signed EP for their very much listening pleasure! Pics of their happy faces to come!
So, the EP has a name. But Heroes and Heathens still needs a few things before we can get it to the presses:
1. Some artwork.
2. Some hype.
3. Some more songs?!?!?!?!
YOU HEARD ME FOLKS! Next week I'll be releasing a bonus track to "Heroes and Heathens," and we'll use the same download schedule as before (goes up for free for 2 days, then available to buy immediately afterwards). Hopefully by then I'll get the first 2 items sorted out, and we can get on with our lives and forget this silly 'music' business once and for all.
Oh, also - on that note...
This is the part about me being a liar
It turns out that I have not been able to get my ducks in a row to complete the much-hyped donations drive I keep spinning my wheels about every few seconds to you guys. Instead, I'm focusing on getting my existing EP out to the world that so desperately needs it, so I'm returning all donations received to date and postponing this project (Make CFord listen to bad music) until the fall. I'm going to try to get a little more press going around it so that it can get done properly.
This is the part where the blog ends
*premiering Spring 2049!!! (It will be my life's work.)